its a wonderful wonderful day

my lomographic cams came...






and so did the stuff i bought online......

i feel gooood, na na na na na (8)

i really really do...

change is goood....

met alex in town for sushi and box hunting, followed by gym with amanda and nicole..

caught Meet the Spartans over at cine after.. its funny la but i wouldnt watch it again.. i couldn't stand some parts..

i wanna watch Golden Compass, Disturbia, Stardust and transformers again.. but i dun dare to watch it alone.. dvd anyone?






SO i met alex, nic, amanda and THE SPARTANS today.

LOL.

TATA!

Today, i discovered Lomography.

i spent the past 2 days at kino.

was there ytd with ginna and tomo to look for a presents, but ended up buying 2 books for myself.

went back today with her to get another. i swear i can spend hours there, i somehow get distracted by everything i see.

for example, i headed for Design & The Arts section, Multimedia caught my eye, so i stayed there for awhile.. tried to make my way to Design, passed by Travel and ended up there.

Left for Design again after 10mins, saw the Pictorial Reference section and headed there.

BUT being me, i ended up stopping at Graphic/Interior/Fashion/Web Design, Fine Arts and Photography before FINALLY reaching Pictorial Reference. And by the time i got there, the store was gonna close in 10mins.

i was overwhelmed by the array of books, so i had to speed browse the books and impulsively bought 2 of them.

but these 2 days spent there wasnt futile. i've always thought i like web design, but when i got to that section, i didnt even bother to flip through most books.

I finally know wat i'm really really interested in.

AND i'm gonna do it.

eventually. heh.

after ytd, i spent half the day in the office searching for relevant stuff. look wat i found!












is it fucking nice or is it fucking nice?

HE is Peter Fong.

oh and im gonna put up vinyls on my wall.. i cant find anything i like so i decided to make my own..

so here's the prep for the design..



and den.. TADAH!



i prolly took an hour to search for diff designs and put them together.. i think im gonna get a huge ass one.

after sending that final pic to that guy, i decided to add dots and even threw in my parents initial. dun ask why.

and now im regretting.. so hopefully he's gonna do this one instead..




and if u're an ass, u would say things like "oh look, its nt properly aligned."

AHEM, which i'm pretty sure none of my frens are. so shut up =D

breathe, vanessa, breathe.


ok so i called up sony svc ctr. the stupid screen cost $486 befor gst.

urgh.

CHEE BYE.

WHEN EVERYTHING IS GOING SO DAMN BLOODY WELL, SOMETHING HAS TO GO WRONG.






CAN U FUCKING SEE WHY IM SO ANGRY. DAT WOULD PROLLY COST ME 600BUCKS. KNN.

TO MAKE THINGS WORSE. I'M FUCKING SICK. I GO WEAK AND NAUSEAS ALL OF A SUDDEN A FEW TIMES A DAY WITH A RUNNY NOSE AND SORE THROAT.

FUCK.

i need a break badly, as i am showing loser symptoms.

i prolly wont be able to get time off for the next one month cos of the new staffs coming in.

i cant wait to leave.

even for a short while..

today was filled with spins, ice choc and shopping. AND i feel the need to defend myself.. yes, im currently living in my own world, which i'm very comfortable with,thank u very much.

BUT i really didnt think this wld happen to me.. i AM happy. VERY happy to be exact. The other day, i wrote a list of the things im thankful for.

its not a very long list, but i believe its quite alot. and of cos Family tops it all. They're the reason that im alive. truth be told, i suffer from slight depression, if theres even such a thing.

i think about killing myself sometimes.

u noe when u suddenly feel that everything's gg wrong and nth's gg ur way.. its a sucky phase.. everybody handles it differently.. some blame others, some blame themselves.

i blame myself ALL THE TIME. wat a rotten ass person i am. afew weeks ago, it hit me again. in the shower. so when i was done, i imagine myself "accidently" slipping and hitting my head on the toilet bowl DEn slip into coma for bout 3months or so. and let everybody cry about it while i happily lay there stress-free listening to the regular beeps coming from the heart rate monitor.

but then it occurred to me.. wat if it did happen, and it dosent really go the way i want it to.. wat if im not happy lying there and stressed cos i wanna be able to stand again. worse of all... wat if no one's crying.

the last point got me for abit. cos i think im nt a very nice person. firstly, i dun say wat i mean.. so ppl misunderstand me all the time. secondly, i dun show my feelings = ppl think i dun care. and i swear, i noe ppl hate me.

so i kinda steadied myself, got dressed and walked out the door.

back to the depression part, its nt the only thing i suffer from. I somehow think i suffer from retrograde amnesia.

its when u forget things before a certain time.

u noe why i chose daisies? cos theyre a summer flower and cant survive in cold weathers.. but when they're in an environment whr they cant survive, they go into sleep/hibernation mode.

which is wat i do. i ignore problems instead of fighting my way through or find a solution. my strategy is to force myself to forget stuff that i dun wanna rmb.

i make myself forget things so i dun have to deal with them. hoping they'll go away, but in actual fact they dun. so i just force myself to forget them. but some how or rather i cant choose wat to forget or rmb anymore. so i cant really rmb stuff.

anyway i think i wrote too much in this post. i'll prolly delete it when i'm in a better state of mind.

bottom line: I AM NOT A LOSER.

sigh. who am i kidding....

so.. are u happy now?

have u ever fallen asleep while standing?

truth is, its almost impossible. unless ur back is leaning against something.

i learned this the hard way.

On the bus, on my way home just now.. i closed my eyes and somehow fell asleep.. DEN my knees went weak. so i caught myself before i almost kneel down on the ground.

ITS FUCKING EMBARRASSING.

reached home at 1+am last night and couldnt sleep till 330am. which explains the tiredness.

anyway i gotta get some shut eye now.




gd nightttt

10mins before it ends..

Happy Valentine's Day <3

i just had to...

·º·¤ñ|¢öLꤷº· pretty in black™ porcelain skin © says:
i bought a book!

·º·¤ñ|¢öLꤷº· pretty in black™ porcelain skin © says:
about lurrrrvvvee

·º·¤ñ|¢öLꤷº· pretty in black™ porcelain skin © says:
llk all quotes inside

·º·¤ñ|¢öLꤷº· pretty in black™ porcelain skin © says:
fer him

·º·¤ñ|¢öLꤷº· pretty in black™ porcelain skin © says:
wen he open i want it baq

·º·¤ñ|¢öLꤷº· pretty in black™ porcelain skin © says:
cuz nice

·º·¤ñ|¢öLꤷº· pretty in black™ porcelain skin © says:
HAHA

Vannesssa. lay down beside me. says:
LOL

she kills me sometimes..

anyhoo met alex in town this afternoon for some shopping.. bought 2 dresses and a yellow cardigan WHICH i dyed it black awhile ago..

the gloves i wore had a hole so i ended up with a blue finger..

gotta go check on it now.. TA!

OH and we're gg to bangkok in APRIL.

YAY CANT WAIT.

just when you thought it couldn't get any better..

you find a basket of nail lacquer:



enough bout my problems.. i just realized in my previous entry, i was talking bout me having a problem.. but somehow i started writing bout work..

does it mean work = the problem ?

oh well..

oh and this cny was really different.. i spent a full day at my gramps..

doing wat u may ask..

this:




Scrabble and Monopoly with my two cousins. ( they are turning 21 too, just so you noe. )

and if u look carefully.. our version of scrabble was pretty much crap. we played without rules.. as long as u're able to explain the word, u're good to go..

so u'll see words like Hoboan and Tranie(there shld be 2 N's but i ran out of letters)..

k now i'm gonna watch afew more shows on mtv and then try to sleep.. meeting alex tmr afternoon..

NIGHTTTTTTTTTTTT!

i shall admit it now.

i have a problem.

what do u call it when the only thing u do apart from working is staring into ur com?

what's wrong with me?

alex asked me last night if i wanted to club and i told her im too tired.

the reason why i dun mind working on weekends is becos i have nth better to do..

well.. actually i do, but thats not my point.

my point is, i actually love work.

i like the fact that i can get along with my colleagues.. great, great people.

using the net and msn is a plus of cos.

the only part i hate is waking up in the morning..

other than that.. triple yay.

dear god, if u're reading this, pls let the management increase my pay for being so hardworking =D

they can increase as much as they want, i really dont mind.









damn.. i live a sad life.

" happy thoughts, happy thoughts "

i'm afraid of the future.

i have no idea where i'm heading.

ok so maybe i do have a little idea.

but then again..

wat if i cant make it.

i dun wanna be disappointed..

you noe, i really envy ppl who noes wat they want in life..

somehow i feel dat i'm too old for everything..

and i dunno whr to start.


save me, please.

heylo.

today was my appointment with elson.



he drew it on straight:




thinking of a black background.. but he says to wait for it to heal first.



lets just say this is the start of my full sleeve.

haha.

I'm so freaking tired and aching all over.

met amanda at kap ytd at 115 den took a cab there.

ended bout 4.. jumped into the hot tub and showered ard 5.

was suppose to head to town for lunch but we were too lazy so ended up eating at the cafe there.



reached home at bout 7 and fell asleep straight.

woke up at 2 in the morning and here i am now.. after a day's work.. struggling to keep my eyes open.

Oh i read my horoscope somewhr bout my plastic addiction.

and true enough..



the amount not in brackets are US dollars.

i was calculating this during work. just to prove to myself that i'm saving money by shopping online.

cos its so much cheaper.

and the free shipping with min purchase just makes it all worthwhile.

i gotta sleep now.

good night.