i'm so damn bloody scared

the course and everything.. paid the first payment of $2225.60 the other day.. another 6 more to go.. gosh.

i almost backed out that night. cold feet i guess.

but since i've alr decided, i'm gonna throw my life in and focus.. this is too m**her-f**king much to play a fool with..

=S

PVD @ Zouk last night. music was GREAT. crowd wasnt too bad. love.



will post more pics from last night.

Felicia's 21st on Sat. ben & co. came to pick me up right after work den headed to her chalet over at downtown east.



they had to squat to accomodate me.



so it was my turn to tip-toes..



blog more later. tata.

"Make them wonder why you're still smiling."
-Elizabethtown

Today, i realised how silly i was.

to be bothered and stressed out by these little irrelevant things that wouldn't make much of a difference in my life, and its just a phase which i'll eventually get over.

i've got bigger things to worry about.

my future.

my life.

me.

i gotta decide once and for all if i really want it. its pretty much decided though.. i'm just a little scared, a little nervous, a little excited; but all in a gd way.

its nt something i cld give up halfway.. neither would i want to.

a fren suggested to write down the pros and cons.. a few days ago, i couldn't come up with any cons.

mel failed her fast-track for the 2nd time. she was Batch 20's Distinction and Outstanding Student. which makes her a double award student, out of the past 20 batches, she was the 5th to get it. Not all batch has a Distinction student.

even somebody of her caliber cant pass.. which makes me realise, life isnt as smooth sailing as it seems.

i was talking to her this afternoon at work and she told me all the problems she went through.. hoping i would get a better idea of wat i'm getting myself into..

i gotta work extra hard and prove ppl wrong.. even if its gg back to the salon on Sats to gain more experience and coming back on model nights.

which brings me to another question,



am i doing it for me?

well, i guess this is it.

my new favorite movie




Elizabethtown

i think its bcos i could relate to it.. and how amazing the character "Claire" is.

"After he causes his Oregon shoe company he works for to lose a large sum of money and then gets dumped by his girlfriend, Drew (Bloom) is on the verge of suicide. However, he is given a new lease in life when he returns to his small Kentucky hometown of Elizabethtown where he goes to make sure his father's dying wishes are fulfilled. On the way home, Drew meets flight attendant Claire Colburn (Dunst), whom he falls in love with in a relationship that helps get his life back on track."

i guess we're all waiting to be saved at some point.

did i mention that i dun believe in love anymore?

cos of how vulnerable it is... i dunno if thats the correct word..

it just comes and goes..

like a leaf on a branch. yes, it can withstand rain and wind and whatnot.. but eventually, when time comes, it falls off on its own.. or the branch becomes a twig..

i have no idea whr this is going.

urgh.

bye world.


will be leaving for awhile..

at 6 in the morning to be exact..

just for a few days.



and when i get back on friday,

everything will be okay.

or so i hope

quick update before i leave the house...

Zouked last sat.. Infected Mushroom! got a spot by the stage abd speakers.. hella good minus the crowd.

got my col done on mon and stayed for the asst competition..

a pic of my puffed up face from sat and afew from mon..






pretty bad angle.. not in my favor.. blah.








ginna won! $900!!!



tata!