omg i cant sleep.

im freaking out. WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYBODY SLEEPING!!!

omg. omg.

its 10-11 days away.. and i'm nt even halfway done planning.

*SCREAMS*

OMFG.

i gotta get the rooms confirmed. which leads to another problem.. do i really wanna waste an extra 200 for the sitting area.. so now i dunno which room to get.

AND THEN there's the theme thing.. which smart alec came up with it? and i refuse to admit its me. how bout i cancel the whole thing?? no, no, no. vanessa, its your 21st. u had a sucky 18th.. now u dun wan ur 21st to suck as well too, do u?

ok back to freaking out.. AND THE FUCKING GUEST LIST. my boss is doing me a favor so i dun wanna be too much.. i'm definitely limiting the guest list. 10 is a freaking small number.. 15? i dunno. OMG kill me please.

why does this always happen to me? freaking out at night. means i cant do anything about it. and when i finally force myself to sleep, i wake up, pretend everything's all rite and forget all about it..

i have so many fucking things to do. i dunno whr to start... *screams again*

ok calm down now.. think, think, think. first of all, i need to invite ppl. secondly, the guest list. u really dun wanna offend anyone by nt inclding them rite? OH OH how bout i pretend there's no guestlist at all? AH HAH! smart. but wait. thats nt very nice is it?

*cries and sobs*

AND ANOTHER PROB.. everybody's busy in the day with sch and work and what not on that day to help me!!! OMG how the hell am i gonna get everything done... *CRIES OUT LOUD* i need help with the planning and all!!

AND NIC'S GONNA RUIN MY BDAY WITH AN ANGIE THE CHOICE CAKE!

OMG!! can it get any worse?

im scared, im lost, im afraid, i dunno wat to do.. wat if it turns out bad? BOTH DAYS???? den how!?

i'm usually nt so negative.. but i think the painkillers, anti-biotics and anti-swelling meds is getting to me a little..

HAPPY THOUGHTS, HAPPY THOUGHTS.

fuck happy thoughts! i need plans not thoughts. omg.omg.omg.